Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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