If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
