just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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