Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize