Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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