Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
