Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
