We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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