can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
you never un-have a 4some
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
