Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
