Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
