our cab driver is having phone sex.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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