If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize