I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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