So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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