She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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