Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
