I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
