I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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