She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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