I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
