Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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