absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
