Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize