i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
She's the barista slut.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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