Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Less talking, more tequila
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Randomize
