My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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