shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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