Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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