That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
