How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I think i got beer on your cat.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
