i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
i would one night stand the shit outta him
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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