What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
