We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i will never coherently bang her
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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