This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
We were destined to go to rehab together
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
