so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
