I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
that may or may not have been my penis.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
