just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
