So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
