I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
