Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
