I'd wear matching sweaters with you
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
