Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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