I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
