Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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