I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
