Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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