i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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