Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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