Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
