Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Alive.
So much puke
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
