Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
