Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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