I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize