Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
