Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
