no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
