they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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