Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
