Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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