sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
