I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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