I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
they're like a gay fantastic four
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I love you. Go after that dick
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
