Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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