tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
