I've blown a few things in my day
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I have fence marks all over my body
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
