Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
