i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
