We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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