i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
