3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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