toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
